December 18, 2000
I love the world of Hong Kong cinema. Not only because they have a rich, varied and ancient set of myths and traditions from which to draw inspiration (if not whole plotlines), but because they'll put anything into any type of movie if they think it'll put butts in theater seats. HK films take genrefucking to such a grand scale it makes American underground filmmakers look like dullards in comparison. Of course, HK filmmakers (except for Jackie Chan) work with about the same kind of budgets as American indies, so the finished product might not necessarily match the concept, but that can be entertaining in its own way. That's what HK films are all about, really: giddy, unabashed entertainment. And as there are tons of delightful and/or mind-boggling films from this part of the world, this will be only the first in a series, I promise you.
DRUNKEN MASTER II
Directed by Lau Kar-leung and an uncredited Jackie Chan (Golden Harvest/Tai Seng)
If you've hit the cineplexes these days, you may've seen a Jackie Chan film entitled The Legend of Drunken Master. This film is actually a dubbed, re-titled and no doubt re-edited version of Chan's 1994 salute and farewell to kung fu films, Drunken Master II. The sequel to the 1978 hit that made Chan the most popular movie star outside of the West, DM II may very well be his best film. The plot once again revolves around the misadventures of the Cantonese folk hero Wong Fei-hung and his drunken boxing, a weaving, unpredictable style of kung fu that works best when its user gets a major buzz on. Unlike the first film, which basically had Wong learning the form to regain his honor from a bully, this one has a more serious plot. Through his own attempted duplicity (which nonetheless had an unselfish motive), Wong becomes entangled in an elaborate scheme perpetrated by British colonists and unscrupulous Chinese thugs to smuggle priceless royal relics out of Manchuria. In the process he shames his well-respected father repeatedly, and is partially responsible for the death of a war hero. So Wong must use his drunken boxing to save the artifacts, save the life of a hostage and regain his family's honor—all in a day's work for Wong Fei-hung. DM II is a near-perfect blend of martial arts action and comedy, and as with all Hong Kong films, which side dominates which scene can be unpredictable, but it always works, thanks to Chan's stunning athleticism, impeccable comic timing and undeniable charisma. The smooth ride is all the more amazing considering that Chan fired director Lau during production, and took over himself, but his vision was so clear-eyed from the beginning that the transition is nearly seamless. (Though this might explain why HK star Andy Lau's character disappears after the film's first 20 minutes.) Kudos especially to award-winning veteran Anita Mui; though Chan cast his ex as Wong's mother, despite the fact that Mui is younger than Chan, she coolly gets her revenge by handily stealing every scene she's in. As the American release was no doubt be re-edited to its disadvantage, I urge you to track down the original (which is subtitled in English) to see Jackie Chan's masterpiece in its full glory.
THE NAKED KILLER
Directed by Clarence Fok Yip Cheung (Leung/Media Asia/Tai Seng)
One of the most (in)famous HK action flicks, 1992's The Naked Killer is a near-nonstop barrage of lethal violence, exotic dream sequences, tortured emoting, beautiful women and black leather. Produced and written by Wong Jing (sort of the HK version of America's beloved low-budget schlockmeister Roger Corman) and directed by Clarence Fok Yip Cheung, the film tries really hard to defy comprehension, but manages to stay on track by virtue of its charismatic lead actors. Chingmy Yau is Kitty, a deadly young woman who has made it her mission in life to kill and castrate unfaithful, piggish men (who are usually drawn so broadly we don't give enough of a shit about them to bother wincing when they're offed). After being nearly caught by Tigong (Simon Yam), a handsome police officer who vomits every time he draws his gun (his backstory is never really fleshed out—just go with it), Kitty is taken under the wing of expert assassin Sister Cindy (Madoka Sugawara), who teaches her to fight, kill and escape in the proper manner. Along the way the duo crosses Japanese gangsters, who hire Cindy's heartless former protégé Princess (Carrie Ng) and her student/lover Baby (Kelly Yao) to kill them. Things become complicated when both Tigong and Princess fall for Kitty; Tigong wants to protect her, though she's far more qualified to protect him, while Princess threatens to kill her if she won't join the other team (and I mean that in several senses). Some confusing dream sequences, a few tasteless, oddly-placed gags and, in this edition at least, a really weird dubbing job do their best to muddle the plot, but thanks to the collective screen presence of Yam, Yau, Sugawara and Ng, not to mention several balletic fight sequences featuring lithe women in skintight outfits, the film roars ahead to its satisfactorily explosive conclusion with little impediment.
Horndogs should take note that despite its title and alluring box cover, there is actually very little nudity in this film. Only a steamy softcore coupling between Princess and Baby and an arty, tasteful love scene from Kitty and Tigong unfold to encourage titillation. So if you're looking for hot Asian chick-on-chick action, as might be inferred from the cover summary, this ain't the place to find it. But if you want a darkly violent, occasionally confusing noir tale of sexual obsession and vigilante justice (and who doesn't?), step right up.
SEX & ZEN
Directed by Michael Mak (Paragon/Media Asia)
Allegedly based on an ancient erotic novel entitled The Carnal Prayer Mat, the plot of Sex & Zen is as follows: young Buddhist scholar decides to follow the road to carnality rather than the path to enlightenment, has his penis replaced with that of a horse, takes his act on the road (to ruin, that is). Needless to say, this is mainly an excuse for a variety of sex scenes, some more erotic than others. For the most part the movie has fun with its rather silly premise. A setpiece in which a lady and her maid find creative use for a flute generates some heat, while a scene in which an abusive husband (who will not only be cuckolded by the scholar later, but will cuckold him in turn) engages in some rather, um, acrobatic sex with his wife, is just ridiculous enough to overcome the man's brutality. The best scene, however, has nothing to do with the sex act itself; the phallus-replacement operation, as performed by a rather eccentric surgeon, is a genuinely inspired bit of comic tomfoolery and the film's clear highlight.
This being, a Hong Kong flick, the movie takes a much darker turn in its last 20 minutes, as the scholar's bad karma, accumulated by abandoning his wife and cuckolding numerous husbands, comes back on him. While he suffers for his lustful ways, he eventually makes his way back to his faith, having Learned His Lesson. Most of the women he visits, however, end up dead, punished or abandoned to their decadence for reveling in sexual pleasure. Even his wife (played by the ever-voluptuous Amy Yip, whose presence alone makes this a must-see for enthusiasts, as it includes her infamous nude scene) meets a tragic end, merely because she wanted to enjoy the same activities as her philandering husband. As the film doesn't exactly deliver an evenhanded message, those inclined to a feminist mindset might want to avoid it. Otherwise, if you can get past the bad taste the film's last half might leave in your mouth, you may find this entertaining.